A business question that became something else

Recently, a mentor asked me a straightforward question about my business:

“Who are you trying to impress?”

It wasn’t meant to be philosophical.

It was a practical question about positioning, audience, and direction.

But it landed more deeply than expected.

Because for the first time, my honest answer surprised me.

No one but myself.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about being relatable or understood - especially in my work.

It means I’m focused on showing up in ways that create connection and clarity, rather than approval.

That distinction matters. 

Visibility in midlife: from performance to presence

For much of adult life, visibility is closely tied to performance.

Being seen as capable.

Credible.

Successful by someone else’s definition.

Visibility often means staying legible to systems, markets, or expectations that reward constant output and upward momentum.

In midlife, that contract can start to fray.

What once felt motivating can begin to feel effortful.

What once felt expansive can start to feel misaligned.

The question quietly changes from:

“How do I stay visible?”

to:

“Where - and how - do I actually want to be seen now?”

This isn’t about retreat or disappearing.

It’s about discernment.

Relevance in midlife: to whom, and for what?

Relevance is often framed as something we must maintain or defend - especially as we get older.

But relevance is contextual.

It depends on values, audience, and purpose.

Midlife can surface an uncomfortable truth: some measures of relevance were never designed with women - or longevity - in mind.

So instead of contorting ourselves to fit outdated expectations, a different question becomes more useful:

What do I want to be relevant to now?

What kind of work feels worthy of my experience and energy?

Relevance stops being about external validation and starts becoming about internal alignment.

Learning in midlife: beyond keeping up

Learning doesn’t stop in midlife - but the motivation behind it often changes.

There is learning driven by fear:

keeping up, staying employable, not being left behind.

And there is another kind of learning - one rooted in curiosity, agency, and self-trust.

Midlife learning often includes:

• understanding your own patterns and limits

• clarifying what energises you - and what drains you

• integrating lived experience into how you work and lead

This kind of learning isn’t about accumulation.

It’s about integration.

It’s less What else do I need to add?

And more What do I already know - and trust - now?

The audience of one

That mentor’s question revealed something simple but profound.

For many women, midlife is when the invisible audience begins to leave the room - the one made up of bosses, markets, peers, family expectations, and internalised ideas of success.

When that audience changes, everything changes:

• how we show up

• what we learn

• what we build

• what we say yes - and no - to

Choosing to work for an audience of one isn’t about shrinking ambition.

It’s about grounding it.

From proving to choosing

Midlife isn’t about becoming less relevant.

It’s about becoming more selective.

About choosing where to place your energy, experience, and attention - and trusting that this discernment is a strength, not a risk.

Moving from proving to choosing doesn’t shrink your world.

It clarifies it.

And that clarity has a quiet power of its own.

Finding Clarity in Midlife | What to Do When You Don’t Know What’s Next

Feeling uncertain in midlife? This reflective article explores why clarity takes time - and how paying attention, not forcing answers, helps you find your way forward.

There comes a point in midlife when many women realise something doesn’t feel quite right anymore.

From the outside, life may look fine. Work is established. Life is full. Responsibilities are being met.

Yet internally, there’s a sense of fog.

Not a crisis exactly - more a quiet question that won’t go away:

What now?

Why So Many Women Feel Unclear in Midlife

Midlife is often described as a time of confidence and self-knowledge. So when clarity doesn’t arrive on schedule, women can feel something is wrong with them.

They tell themselves they should:

• Know what they want by now

• Feel grateful, not restless

• Have a clear plan for what’s next

Instead, many feel uncertain, flat, or disconnected from the things that once motivated them.

This isn’t failure.

It’s a transition - one that doesn’t begin with answers.

Clarity Is Not a One-Off Insight

One of the biggest misconceptions about midlife is that clarity comes before change.

That if you could think your way to an answer - reflect in isolation, or land on the right question - the next chapter would neatly reveal itself.

In reality, clarity rarely arrives fully formed.

It develops through spacious reflection - over time, in the body, and in relationship with what’s actually happening in your life.

You’re still living.

Still working.

Still caring, contributing, showing up.

And underneath, something is reorganising.

When Reflection Is Working (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Many women worry they’re “going round in circles”.

But reflection doesn’t always feel productive in the moment.

Often, it shows up as:

• Heightened sensitivity to what drains you

• Less tolerance for misalignment

• A pull toward different conversations or environments

• A growing desire for meaning rather than momentum

These are not signs of being stuck.

They are signs that your inner compass is recalibrating.

The Pressure to Decide Can Mute Clarity

Clarity struggles under pressure.

When reflection is rushed toward outcomes - What should I do? What’s the plan? - it often bypasses the deeper work trying to happen.

Midlife asks for a different kind of listening.

Not urgency.

Not self-judgement.

But attention.

This is where clarity begins to take shape - quietly, steadily, honestly.

Midlife as Reorientation, Not Reinvention

Midlife is often framed as a moment to reinvent yourself.

But for many women, it’s more accurately a reorientation.

A shift away from inherited definitions of success.

A movement toward what feels true now - not what once worked.

This process can’t be rushed.

And it doesn’t require abandoning who you’ve been.

It asks you to stay with yourself as something new forms.

Letting Clarity Emerge

Rather than asking for immediate answers, midlife invites better questions.

Questions that create space instead of pressure:

• What feels less tolerable than it used to?

• What am I no longer willing to override?

• What keeps returning to my attention?

These questions don’t deliver instant clarity.

They build discernment.

And discernment is what allows clarity to arrive in its own time.

A Quiet Moment for You

You don’t need a finished plan.

You don’t need to know exactly where this is going.

But this question may be worth sitting with:

What is already shifting in me - even if I can’t name it yet?

Often, the next chapter doesn’t begin with a decision. It begins with staying present to what’s unfolding.

Endings Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Meaningful

As the year draws to a close, I’ve been thinking about endings - and how rarely they’re perfect.

Maybe you’re arriving at December with things left undone.

Ideas that didn’t land. Conversations you didn’t have. Changes that didn’t happen.

Or maybe you’re just tired - not in crisis, just in need of a pause.

We often rush to assess the year in wins and losses: what got ticked off, what didn’t.

But beneath all that, something else matters more.

Who Are You Now?

Not “what did you achieve?”

Not “did you keep up?”

But:

Who are you now, that you weren’t at the start of the year?

What have you seen more clearly?

What have you stopped tolerating?

What have you quietly reclaimed?

These are the shifts that matter.

The ones that don’t always announce themselves, but slowly reshape the way you move through the world.

The Invisible Work

At The Third Chapter, we honour those kinds of changes.

The ones that don’t make headlines - but make space.

The ones that don’t look dramatic - but feel honest.

The ones that shape what comes next, even before you’ve named it.

So if you’re sitting with a mix of feelings - pride, regret, progress, uncertainty - you’re not alone.

You’re not behind.

You’re in the quiet middle.

And that’s a powerful place to be.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’re looking for a moment to pause and reconnect before the new year begins, I’ve created something that might meet you there.

It’s Your Turn is a short, reflective guide for women ready to realign - not reinvent.

There are no goals. No deadlines.

Just five thoughtful prompts, a few quiet truths, and space to hear what’s ready to be heard.

You can download your copy here: It’s Your Turn Reflective Guide.

A Softer Close

You don’t have to rush clarity.

You don’t have to finish strong.

You’re allowed to end this year gently.

With a little stillness.

A small smile of recognition.

And a quiet, joyful knowing:

You’ve already begun.

Why 50+ Is the Perfect Age to Realign, Not Retire

For years, we’ve been told that midlife is a time to slow down - to consolidate, to ease back, to prepare for what’s next.

But for so many of the women I meet through The Third Chapter, this stage isn’t about winding down. It’s about waking up.

Somewhere in your 50s - or 60s - something shifts.

The pace of life changes, the roles you’ve held start to evolve, and there’s often a quiet question that rises to the surface: What now, What next?

It’s a question that can feel unsettling at first. Especially if your career or identity has been tightly woven together for years. But I see this moment not as an ending - it’s an invitation.

The outdated story: “It’s too late.”

We’ve inherited a powerful cultural script: that after a certain age, our choices narrow. That midlife means decline, not discovery.

But that’s changing - and fast.

Women 50+ are starting businesses, changing direction, mentoring others, studying again, and using their hard-earned experience in completely new ways.

If you’ve been wondering whether it’s too late to make a change, the truth is: this may be the first time you’ve had the freedom, clarity, and courage to do it on your own terms.

The real story: It’s time to realign

Realignment is different from reinvention.

Reinvention suggests starting over - becoming someone else.

Realignment is about becoming more yourself.

At this stage of life, you have a lifetime of knowledge, resilience, and perspective. The work now isn’t to build something new from scratch, but to bring your skills, passions, and wisdom into greater alignment with who you’ve become.

This might look like:

• Shifting from a high-pressure corporate role into purpose-led consulting.

• Blending professional expertise with personal passions.

• Or simply creating more space to live, think, and work in ways that feel congruent with your values. Which could of course mean not working at all.

The quiet transition before the next act

When women come to me for coaching, they’re often standing at a crossroads. They’re successful - but something no longer fits.

The instinct is often to “solve” it quickly: update the CV, look for a new challenge, find the next thing.

But midlife transitions don’t respond well to speed. They need reflection, curiosity, and permission to pause.

Because this stage of life isn’t about what you do next - it’s about who you’re becoming.

At The Third Chapter, that’s exactly what we explore: who you are now, what truly matters, and what kind of life or work will feel right for this next season.

A few questions to reflect on

If you’re feeling the pull to realign, you might start by asking yourself:

• What part of my current life feels out of sync with who I’ve become?

• Where do I feel most alive, curious, or purposeful - and how can I create more of that?

• What would “enough” look like now - in time, meaning, and energy?

Your answers don’t have to be neat or complete. They’re simply a way to begin tuning back in to your own voice.

This is your Third Chapter

Midlife - and beyond - isn’t a point of decline. It’s a point of definition.

A time to gather everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve loved, and everything you still want to explore - and shape it into something that fits.

That’s what I mean by realignment. And why I believe 50+ is not too late, but exactly the right time to begin again - from a place of truth, confidence, and clarity.