A business question that became something else

Recently, a mentor asked me a straightforward question about my business:

“Who are you trying to impress?”

It wasn’t meant to be philosophical.

It was a practical question about positioning, audience, and direction.

But it landed more deeply than expected.

Because for the first time, my honest answer surprised me.

No one but myself.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about being relatable or understood - especially in my work.

It means I’m focused on showing up in ways that create connection and clarity, rather than approval.

That distinction matters. 

Visibility in midlife: from performance to presence

For much of adult life, visibility is closely tied to performance.

Being seen as capable.

Credible.

Successful by someone else’s definition.

Visibility often means staying legible to systems, markets, or expectations that reward constant output and upward momentum.

In midlife, that contract can start to fray.

What once felt motivating can begin to feel effortful.

What once felt expansive can start to feel misaligned.

The question quietly changes from:

“How do I stay visible?”

to:

“Where - and how - do I actually want to be seen now?”

This isn’t about retreat or disappearing.

It’s about discernment.

Relevance in midlife: to whom, and for what?

Relevance is often framed as something we must maintain or defend - especially as we get older.

But relevance is contextual.

It depends on values, audience, and purpose.

Midlife can surface an uncomfortable truth: some measures of relevance were never designed with women - or longevity - in mind.

So instead of contorting ourselves to fit outdated expectations, a different question becomes more useful:

What do I want to be relevant to now?

What kind of work feels worthy of my experience and energy?

Relevance stops being about external validation and starts becoming about internal alignment.

Learning in midlife: beyond keeping up

Learning doesn’t stop in midlife - but the motivation behind it often changes.

There is learning driven by fear:

keeping up, staying employable, not being left behind.

And there is another kind of learning - one rooted in curiosity, agency, and self-trust.

Midlife learning often includes:

• understanding your own patterns and limits

• clarifying what energises you - and what drains you

• integrating lived experience into how you work and lead

This kind of learning isn’t about accumulation.

It’s about integration.

It’s less What else do I need to add?

And more What do I already know - and trust - now?

The audience of one

That mentor’s question revealed something simple but profound.

For many women, midlife is when the invisible audience begins to leave the room - the one made up of bosses, markets, peers, family expectations, and internalised ideas of success.

When that audience changes, everything changes:

• how we show up

• what we learn

• what we build

• what we say yes - and no - to

Choosing to work for an audience of one isn’t about shrinking ambition.

It’s about grounding it.

From proving to choosing

Midlife isn’t about becoming less relevant.

It’s about becoming more selective.

About choosing where to place your energy, experience, and attention - and trusting that this discernment is a strength, not a risk.

Moving from proving to choosing doesn’t shrink your world.

It clarifies it.

And that clarity has a quiet power of its own.